Embracing the Pace of Love

Growing Up with a Power-Walking Mom

My mom walks fast and powerfully. Growing up, I saw my mom take power naps, go for power walks, wear power business suits, and operate in the power of the Holy Spirit. These are all good things, by the way.

As a child, I often asked my mom to join her on her power walks. She would smile and say, “As long as you can keep up.” So, out the door we went. As soon as her feet hit the ground, her cadence sped up to a powerful pace. She didn’t warm up or ease into it. She would walk fast, taking significant strides (two times my little strides), arms swinging, eyes fixed ahead, and often praying, declaring, or singing hymns as she walked. I would usually have to run to catch up, then walk as fast as I could, inevitably falling behind again and then running to catch up again. I learned… to walk fast.

Growing up, I developed a pet peeve of people walking too slowly in front of me. I used to imagine passing them, like an angry road-raged driver, glaring at them as I passed or offering a few choice words and maybe a selective finger. Of course, I never did, but I would imagine doing it as I walked quickly past them. If there were no room to pass, I would get impatient and feel my stress levels rise.

The Impact of “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry”

I read The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer about a year ago. To say the book impacted me would be a gross understatement. It was a giant kick-in-the-butt wake-up call. It started me on a journey of slowing down and embracing a more intentional, unhurried life. I’ve read it many times since then, and because of that, you’ll probably hear me refer to it more than once.

The Spiritual Journey of Slowing Down

Since getting married to Natalia, a beautiful Colombian with more flair and passion in her pinky than I have in my whole body, we have enjoyed going on walks together. My wife loves to talk, and when we’re walking, and she gets passionate, her hands start moving even more (I’m convinced Latinos can’t talk and not move their hands). Her cadence slows down, sometimes coming to a complete stop to act out a particular story, which is often hilarious and incredibly insightful. My wife loves to take her time. She knows how to be in the moment.

But remember, I grew up with a power-walking mom. I tend to walk fast. I walk with purpose and efficiency. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 13:4, gives a definition of love, and the first characteristic is “patient.” Comer (2019) says, “There’s a reason people talk about ‘walking’ with God, not ‘running’ with God. It’s because God is love” (p. 23).

Koyama (1980), in Three Mile an Hour God, said: “God walks slowly because he is love. If he is not love, he would have gone much faster. Love has its speed. It is an inner speed. It is a spiritual speed. It is a different kind of speed from the technological speed to which we are accustomed. It is ‘slow’ yet it is the lord over all other speeds since it is the speed of love” (p. 7).

Since reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, I have intentionally slowed my walking speed. Before, when my wife and I would go walking, I would inevitably end up walking ahead of her and getting impatient with her slow speed. As you can imagine, having a good conversation with one person way out in front and one falling further and further behind is challenging… and ineffective.

From Power Walks to Patient Walks

To use walking side by side as a metaphor, God has called my wife and I to walk the path of life together. And we’re called to walk in unity. Even if we’re both on the same path, walking in God’s will, we also need to walk together, side by side, hand in hand, talking and praying together. If one gets out in front and the other lags behind, we’re vulnerable to the enemy of our souls.

Since taking on the challenge of physically slowing the pace of my walking, my spiritual pace has also slowed down to the pace at which I can rest in God more and listen to His voice and heartbeat. Now, back to walking. When Natalia and I go for morning walks, one of our favourite things, I intentionally walk more slowly and ensure we walk side by side. In this way, I can hear her voice more clearly, see her expressions, watch her hand gestures, appreciate her stories, metaphors, and hilariously accurate analogies, and, most of all, connect with her heart.

So, from now on, my goal is to let go of the power walk (sorry, Mom), embrace the patient walk, and learn the pace of love.

References:

John Mark Comer. (2019). The ruthless elimination of hurry: how to stay emotionally healthy and spiritually alive in the chaos of the modern world. Hodder & Stoughton.

Koyama, K. (2021). Three Mile an Hour God. SCM Press.

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